5 years, 5 months ago by socialartist
Shut up and Listen. How to be a Good Listener
The best conservationists are the best listeners. It’s crazy that we think talking makes us a great conversationalist but it doesn’t.
Have you ever talked to someone and had something great to say and you could get a word in edge ways? Maybe you wanted to get something off your chest to release everything you’ve been holding in?
It takes little or no effort to be a great talker, but it takes so much more effort to be a good listener.
So how do you become a better conversationalist by listening? Ok here’s some tips.
- Be present. Stop formulating sentences in your head while the other person is talking. When you’re thinking about what you’re going to say to the person next, you’re not listening what they’re saying and you might miss something great.
- Eye contact. Not too strong but focus! It also lets them know youre paying attention rather than looking into space.
- Offers. Offers are little bits of information in conversation which you can take an build on “I’ve just got back from Egypt”. Here the offer is Egypt, take that and expand to build on the conversation.
- Don’t be a ‘topper’. There’s nothing worse than a person who claims to have done something you have done but better, faster or with more success. Commonalities are cool but don’t make it a contest.
- Don’t try to fix them. It is not your job to find a problem and fix it for them. Hey, sometimes you will find a problem that isn’t there, don’t do it.
- Don’t interrupt. It’s just rude.
- Stop checking your phone. it can wait, it will still be there after the conversation.
- Remember. If youre anything like me I have a brain like a siv. Remembering someones name is a great way to show you’ve listened to them from the start.
- Have an open mind. If you have an issue listening to the other persons point of view with an open mind may help get to the bottom of the problem.
- Paraphrase. A great way to show someone that you have listened is to paraphrase what they have just said. “I’ve just had my last exam.” “you’ve just had your last exam? How did that go?” repeating part of their sentence back to them shows you’ve ben listening.
Listening to people will make them feel important. It will let you discover the person more and will give you more to talk about with that person in the future. After all everyone’s favourite topic is themselves, they know a lot about themselves, so be that person who listens.